Background info

Ok so there are some things you are going to need to know if any of this is going to make sense.

First of all, I am a psychology major and while I have some pretty good instincts and insights about other people, I am sometimes pretty dense when it comes to myself. I have learned there is great truth to the view that you can be too close to someone to properly assess the situation. Apparently I am too close to myself because not only do I have my therapist, I have a psychiatrist too.

I was first diagnosed with Panic Disorder when I was 22, followed 4 years later with my first bout of major depression. I am an odd case for this because depression normally comes first, followed by anxiety. Oh well if I have learned anything about myself, it is that I am smart, quirky, sometimes morbid and a whole lot Odd.

I have a degree in Medical Assisting, and sometime speak in medspeak forgetting that not everyone can understand me. If you don't get it, say so. I'm used to it

I am currently working through my 4th bout of major depression in 8 years, this time the right way, medication and therapy.

On Febuary 20, 2008, 2 months before my 34th birthday, I had a heart attack. I hate taking medications and now I take so many dang pills I have a hard time remembering them all when I need to write them down.

I try to be light and humorous, although normally a satritical, dark, witty kind of humor (most ppl don't get it, I know...I'm Odd though remember?) I am not making fun of my illnesses when I do this though. It is my way of helping myself cope.

My hope is that I am not alone in this and that through my words, pain, insight and experiences someone else will be able to identify and maybe get a few smiles if not full belly laughs from it.

Oh I almost forgot, 2 weeks ago I had a stroke of my optic nerve in my right eye, it's called Anterior Ischemic Optic neuropathy. Basically I can't see for crap out of my right eye but it is healing, so please forgive any typos and blantant errors...spell check can only get so much LOL!!

Till We Meet Again!